Here's the rule, people: if you have a driveway and a brain, you do not roll your snow-covered car into the street and sweep snow off of it in the middle of the fucking road. Below is a picture of my actual neighbor breaking this rule:
It's a simple idea, yes? Do we need to go through the reasons for this rule? Okay, for the uninitiated (and by that I mean people from the Tropics), here we go:1) KNOW YOUR PLACE: You have a driveway. Listen, the only people that love cleaning snow are snow removal companies. But for us regular working slobs, we have to take care of our own business. And if you're fortunate to have a driveway or a place other than a street to park your car, then you have a duty to clean it off right where it's parked. "But Adam, when I clean the snow off my car, it gets all over the place and I have to shovel it off the driveway!" Yeah, and you have to put your trash in a fucking trash bin, what's your point?
2) THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT HERE TO BAIL YOU OUT: I know what some of you crafty bastards are thinking- if I clean the snow off in the street the magical snowplow employed by my local municipality will whisk it away to Neverland. Yeah, I'm sure the plow is waiting on your street just to clean up your mess. Guess what happens when you toss the snow into the street- it stays there for a while. Plows cover a lot of streets, but it takes time for them to get to everywhere. And if the storm has ended, they're less likely to re-plow a clean street, you dig what I'm saying? And that leads to the next point...
3) PHYSICS: While a car is traveling on a relatively clean roadway, if it happens to suddenly come upon a snow/ice patch, it will lose traction and possibly cause an accident. I mean there is a reason we plow our streets, yes? To keep this very problem from occurring! So, why would you want to do something that's potentially dangerous to others? Because you're a miserable bastard that's too lazy to do things the right way? Wow, if that's your mentality, you should work for GM or AIG.
I know there are many people out there who don't have driveways. You all get a pass. But even then, when you clean your car off in the street, please be mindful to put that snow away from the road. It's common courtesy, it's common sense, it's just the right thing to do. But to the rest of you, you really need to be punched.
UPDATE: And at least in Boston, this sort of behavior is ILLEGAL.
Hear, fucking hear.
ReplyDeleteThis is why Rickey brushes off as little snow as possible, and then hops on the highway, allowing the winds to blow off massive chunks of snow all over the road and in the path of the cars behind him. You're cool with that, yes?
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